Prostitutes Save the US Economy

Anonymous sources claim an unusual political alliance between Libertarians, the Tea Party and The Mormon Church for legalizing prostitution.  Sarah Palin said, “Shucks, it worked in Alaska.”

Additionally, the proposition, no pun intended, involves legalizing street drugs with heavy taxation, legalizing polygamy to get the unwed mothers and children off the street, eliminating the minimum wage and all taxation for domestic help.

The theory as stated suggests that these measures will reduce unemployment, the record discrepancy in wealth between the rich and the middle class, significantly decrease poverty while at the same time reducing the budget deficit and perhaps even the housing crisis. It will not be the first time prostitution salved a depression. One can imagine the mechanism for achieving these lofty goals.

One-third of the unemployed women turn to highly profitable prostitution, one third marries wealthy bankers and congressional representatives, and one-third gravitates to domestic work.

As for unemployed men, one-third sell drugs legally, pay their taxes and chase after the prostitutes, one-third work as gamekeepers, chauffeurs or gardeners and one-third pimp for wealthy bankers and congressional representatives.

Alledgedly, Pres. Obama agreed to sign. Congressional representatives are excited to stay in Washington and work together. They plan to vote on the measure after midnight during the forthcoming lame duck congressional session.